➽ 08/03/2022 - building endurance

time: 9:41pm

mood: sore but head Full


tldr: talking to people is hard and i am a librarian (holy shit etc)

talking to people is hard, talking to old people with sharply honed gossip skills is Particularly hard, and i can't help but think about conversation skill atrophy and how i used to still think i was a reasonable conversationalist but... now i'm rather more acutely aware of the areas i struggle with.

it's a habit i need to work on, and by god do i have a good avenue to practice, now, and i'm not sure i could get out of it without considerable effort towards avoidance. all i need to do is sit up at my table with library books arrayed for people to inspect, make sure i'm not just on my phone or tablet All the time (this new knitting project is helping there, though god it's making my elbow cramp...) and they will just descend upon me at regular intervals to find out who i am, how i came to be in the club, and what's my relation of interests to spinning&weaving. it's embarassing to say i barely know how a spinning wheel works, but hey, that's what i get for barely being able to knit and taking over a fibrecrafts library

absolutely need a hot shower tonight

i'm physically and mentally exhausted, but it feels good- it's the burn of a good, needed stretch. as long as i can take care of myself and avoid burnout, i'll be alright. talking with dad about some of the web design and history stuff on the drive home- then getting home and flipping over to listening to the latest rASMR early access audio, then drumming out 1k of the next locke fic was a lovely change of pace. it's mental crop rotation! (i should start doing yoga for the physical stuff, too. eventually. lol.)

housemate is back again so i shall have some peace from the secondary cat for the time being... the night she realised what door i was sleeping behind was SO rough oh my god, she just beeped all night long...

the rest of the week will be just as full. tomorrow i cook, thursday i practice driving and go to D&D- i think i get friday off, more or less, before then the weekend has MotW and then another sunday out working on the library. i want to get the weaving section knocked out, and to start grappling with the magazines and photo albums. and i might borrow a book or two, and see if i can start wrapping my head around the actual crafts i'm meant to be helping provide materials on!

i ramble. it gud. i am feeling fulfilled, i am feeling like i am growing and breathing and living. i am such a gay sap rn ahahahahahaha bai